A short discourse on sexuality
What is called natural? What's the criteria to be called 'natural'?
The most suitable answer can be something common over a period of time is natural.
In the Vedas (which I solely refer for spiritual knowledge and not as a code of conduct) it is implied that three things in the universe have no reason; Marriage, Life & Birth (All three are connected to each other).
The marriage of a man & woman leads to procreation. My question is are all of us here for procreation?
In Jewish religion celibacy is prohibited, then why Jesus was unmarried? And if I were to evoke the conspiracy theories of Mary Magdalene then things would become unnecessarily controversial.
In Hinduism, there have been 'Brahmachari' who are life long celibates. And that's accepted despite they don't procreate. Even in Christianity Papal candidates have to be celibate. Yes, homophobics can give an argument that because Brahmacharis & Popes have to lead an ascetic life that's why they leave the worldly pleasure but if we don't lead an ascetic life does that mean we have to procreate. And some people have such a misfortune that despite being married they remain childless (baanjh)!
My point is who exactly governs us? Who sets these code of conducts?
Yes, again homophobics can give the argument that Majority wins. Then why are Sikh people not penalized for not wearing helmets on the Indian roads? The answer is sad; here its a question of religion and not sex (sexual preference) that's why!
If we assume people with uncommon sexual orientation (did I just coin a new term?) are in minority then they should be given protection.
But indeed that's not the case. U know y? Coz it aint ques of rlgn bt sex!
So the demand of time is to create sexual awareness.
But that's not the only thing I have to say. I even understand the plea of all the Indians when it comes to sexual liberalization. (...to be contd)
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Sunday, April 4, 2010
My coming out story
It was September the nineteenth.
I was madly in love with a guy. My first love. But he turned out to be a deception. I was devastated! Dragged to the edge of suicide I confided in my mother. I decided to tell her.
It was a cold evening.
I came to my mom who was sitting in the living room on the sofa. I said,"Amba! I need to tell you something." And I let out a cry. She understood. She sensed something was bothering me for the past few weeks. She let me cry. Finally i told her," Amba! I like girls and I like guys too. When I was eight, I was sodomized by my cousin. I never told you. I am sorry. I was afraid. I just had a relation with a guy but that guy turned out to be married!"
She was shell-shocked! Like somebody just hit her in the guts. She could not process it. She asked me,"What you did with him?". I replied,"I had sex with him. Anal sex." She asked,"He did it or you did it?" I said,"He did it". The words hung in the air for moments. She finally vent out a little of her smothered agony,"How could you do it? Its a business of hijras (Transgenders)!"
I said politely controlling my tears,"I was in love with him!"
I told my mom if she can forgive me then please do it, I needed that, I needed my mother.
I was madly in love with a guy. My first love. But he turned out to be a deception. I was devastated! Dragged to the edge of suicide I confided in my mother. I decided to tell her.
It was a cold evening.
I came to my mom who was sitting in the living room on the sofa. I said,"Amba! I need to tell you something." And I let out a cry. She understood. She sensed something was bothering me for the past few weeks. She let me cry. Finally i told her," Amba! I like girls and I like guys too. When I was eight, I was sodomized by my cousin. I never told you. I am sorry. I was afraid. I just had a relation with a guy but that guy turned out to be married!"
She was shell-shocked! Like somebody just hit her in the guts. She could not process it. She asked me,"What you did with him?". I replied,"I had sex with him. Anal sex." She asked,"He did it or you did it?" I said,"He did it". The words hung in the air for moments. She finally vent out a little of her smothered agony,"How could you do it? Its a business of hijras (Transgenders)!"
I said politely controlling my tears,"I was in love with him!"
I told my mom if she can forgive me then please do it, I needed that, I needed my mother.
My sister's fiance
I have my adorable and caring sister with me. She's an angel and hence I am the devil. huahauah!
So, she has recently completed her studies in Medicine as Doctor. My mother subtly discusses with me about her marriage. She tells me about all of the suitable matches she has in her mind. Like, the sons of her colleagues in the office; some other proposals come from my aunts as well. My mother discusses all such topics with me but not with my sister.
My sister or my mother, both of them don't know about my sexual orientation as yet. The reason why I enjoy discussing guys with my mother is because she discusses 'guys'. Though I have no sexual or romantic interest in all the guys she discusses with me but I would be really happy if my sister gets a handsome guy. After taking inputs from my mother about these guys I google them, search on orkut or facebook.
Luckily, in many cases I succeed in finding the accurate profiles and fortunately they have some pictures of the guys to be displayed!
I covertly enjoy watching these guys. I create a mental picture of them and then fantasize that if my sister might get married to one of these guys then how me, my sis and her spouse would go out for dinners, parties and traveling.
I must confess a few of these guys were quite attractive. But I just imagine that moment when I'd meet my sister's spouse, I'll hug my jiju tightly and perhaps kiss his neck.
But above all I'll be happy for I expect my sister will have a happy married life.
So, she has recently completed her studies in Medicine as Doctor. My mother subtly discusses with me about her marriage. She tells me about all of the suitable matches she has in her mind. Like, the sons of her colleagues in the office; some other proposals come from my aunts as well. My mother discusses all such topics with me but not with my sister.
My sister or my mother, both of them don't know about my sexual orientation as yet. The reason why I enjoy discussing guys with my mother is because she discusses 'guys'. Though I have no sexual or romantic interest in all the guys she discusses with me but I would be really happy if my sister gets a handsome guy. After taking inputs from my mother about these guys I google them, search on orkut or facebook.
Luckily, in many cases I succeed in finding the accurate profiles and fortunately they have some pictures of the guys to be displayed!
I covertly enjoy watching these guys. I create a mental picture of them and then fantasize that if my sister might get married to one of these guys then how me, my sis and her spouse would go out for dinners, parties and traveling.
I must confess a few of these guys were quite attractive. But I just imagine that moment when I'd meet my sister's spouse, I'll hug my jiju tightly and perhaps kiss his neck.
But above all I'll be happy for I expect my sister will have a happy married life.
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